Midlife Mondays
“Not perfect, but better”
Midlife Mondays have become something I look forward to every week. Sean Stockman is a YouTube content developer whose work is grounded in “working hard and loving our neighbor.” He lives in Michigan and has relinquished his desk job to clean up overgrown and neglected properties in and around urban Detroit. He cleverly documents these makeovers using a variety of camera angles and shares them on his YouTube page “Midlife Stockman.”
I first started watching Sean as he began the channel two years ago when he had a small following, but he recently passed a major milestone of 1 million subscribers! What attracted me to the channel was Sean’s passion for his work and his genuine goodwill. It may seem silly, watching someone pick up trash, operate an edger or mow a stranger’s grass, but Sean’s work is much more than that. In these acts of kindness, he’s restoring dignity to the people who live on these properties and in these neighborhoods. He listens to the often disabled or elderly resident, single parent, or family that is just overwhelmed with their current circumstances. He goes the extra mile—repairing a fence, purchasing lawn equipment, or building a playset for a young family. Sometimes he goes ‘all in’ and partners with other community organizations to put a new roof on a house, purchase a new vehicle, or pay someone’s rent for the month.
Sean has reached the point where he is now recognized quite a bit and thanked repeatedly for sidewalks that are now passable, backyards that can now be played in, or for giving places that are attracting squatters, drug trafficking, or trash dumping a fresh start. He gets a lot of satisfaction from his work, and he enjoys the physicality it demands. He chooses to look for the places in the world that need attention, and his kind heart responds and is energized to move forward with the next one. Sean usually ends a makeover with “not perfect, but better,” recognizing that he often can’t do everything, but he can do something.
Midlife Mondays start my week with good thoughts and feelings and motivate me to think of more ways I can “work hard and love MY neighbors” both in my personal life and in my work as an IM4Q* monitor. Several times a week I have encounters with individuals with intellectual disability or autism and generally ask them, “what would make your life better?” The main skill is listening and supporting their wants and needs by forming a request on their behalf for changes that may improve their lives. Sometimes they may want a job, to return to or explore a hobby or interest, or need an accommodation for communication, sensory needs, or ambulation. Often, it’s relationships: they yearn for friendship. Whether a big change or a small one, it’s the listening that gets their attention. Many of us reflect on this question in January, making “resolutions” of many kinds, but it’s a gift to be able to offer this question throughout the year and for the system of care to respond in their efforts working toward “not perfect, but better.” I see parallels in Sean Stockman’s work in his community: the smile, the handshake, the positive response when someone says “I could use some help with…” Those are often such hard words for people to say.
Midlife Mondays remind me that Sean is out there doing his thing, and so many other people are out there listening and acting—and changing people’s lives. We may not always be able to do all that we want to do, but just by making something “better” during your week—you may simply put a smile on someone’s face—or you may just change the trajectory of their life into something they never thought possible. Regardless, the mutual benefit of making a connection with another human being is universal…and delightful.
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@MidlifeStockman
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/midlifestockman
*IM4Q (Independent Monitoring for Quality): The purpose of IM4Q is to collect information to improve the quality of lives of people served/supported by the Pennsylvania Office of Developmental Programs (ODP). IM4Q is part of the intellectual disabilities/autism (ID/A) system’s Quality Assessment and Improvement process. This process is guided by the values and principles of Everyday Lives: control, choice, freedom, stability, health and safety, connection, responsibility, communication, success, employment/meaningful contribution, individuality, relationships, partnership, quality, and advocacy.
This blog was written by guest author, Maria Miller. Maria is the editor of the “Help and Hope: From Families who have Walked the Walk” book series. She also works as a Team Leader for Independent Monitoring for Quality. Maria is a wife and the mother of three. She has written additional blogs, such as “9 Lessons from the Farm,” sharing what she has learned from her daughter’s 10 years of riding lessons on a farm, and “A Chance to Grow,” which was about her experience working on our second guide, “Help and Hope: From Families Who Have Walked the Walk, Substance Use: The Growing Need to Know.”
Cover photo designed by Freepik.